December 2013 - the new year beckons

To think, that this time last year, I was doing exactly the same as I am now....wondering "what will this next year hold". It is fair to say that whatever I predicted (I can't remember) it wouldn't have been what happened in reality. It is probably also true to say 2014 will be the same in terms of unpredictability, but I do hope for no more health scares to come.

My first test of that will be in February, when I have my first full Endocrine MOT checkup post Pituitary surgery. I have an MRI scan booked in for late January (an "MRI with *Gadolinium" to be precise) and I will need to get some blood tests done, and then I can go back to Dr. Kar to find out the status of my hormones and more importantly whether my Pituitary gland remains tumour-free. I really hope so, but if the news is different then I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

* Gadolinium is the stuff they injected me with when I had my first MRI scan. It is a 'contrast agent' they inject into the bloodstream so that they can get a good image of my Pituitary area

2014 generally isn't really shaping up to be a stunning year for us, both our Dad's are in their 80's and not in a brilliant state of health, I think that is where my main area of concern lies for this coming year. Even our old dog, at 14 years of age, cannot go on forever. So whilst I hope for good health for me, I fear for others in our family.

I was also thinking about a couple of other associated oddities that have happened as a result of having my tumour removed....if not 'as a result of', certainly 'around the same time as' and probably more the hormone treatment than the tumour itself. My hair has really gone downhill, it is much more greasy and unruly than it was, as well as thinning at an alarming rate. Also my fingernails have nearly recovered, but I had a 'growth line' appear in every single one of them, around the time of my operation. There was a line across all the nails where clearly something biological changed in my body that affected my nails. My left thumbnail fared the worse, in that little shards kept snapping off, but the defects have just about grown out now. And spots! I keep getting spots on my face, turned into a spotty teenager I have.....

Lastly, the other thing I could NEVER have imagined me doing in 2013, or any other year for that matter, was writing a blog. I've really quite enjoyed doing it and will continue to do so for as long as I'm enjoying it and have something useful to say. I hope you the reader finds it a bit interesting every now and then - I guess if it helps just one person with a Pituitary issue understand a bit more about the process, then I've succeeded. 

I wish you all a healthy, happy and prosperous new year.

Cheers, Carlton.

December 2013 - Pituitary Poetry!

Ok, so as you are about to find out, I'm no poet. But as it is Christmas time I thought "why not" let's have some fun. So with no regard whatsoever for any poetry rules, here goes:

2013, it was a heck of a year
It started well, but wasn't full of good cheer
I had something wrong inside my head
Not the first time that it had been said!

I had something wrong with my pituitary gland
So off I went to have my little head scanned
There was something in my head that shouldn't have been
Put me and my wife in a terrible spin

It wasn't long before the hospital rang
And promised to pull out the whole shebang
The tumour would come out, down through my nose
And out in the bin with it, they would dispose

The operation day soon came along
Doctors and nurses around me, all of a throng
Out like a light, into a deep sleep
Woke up later, machines going beep beep

So my hospital stay soon came and went
Some recuperation time was soon being spent
But as with these things, it not so clear cut
Coming up soon, was a very large “but”

Back to the hospital, I had to go
Recovery time, annoyingly slow
A time to be healthy, I so did yearn
and with lots of time my fitness returned

There are some people I really must thank
Without whom I’d be nowhere to be perfectly frank
All the NHS teams who looked after me
Couldn't have done it better, I’m sure you’d agree

Another constant who helped me recover my life
Is my beautiful and gorgeous and long suffering wife
She was as caring as any person could be
In her valiant quest to look after me 

So what’s the moral of this story, I hear you cry
Well there isn't one actually, I really can't lie
Just a lame excuse to write some poetry in my blog
It’s Christmas-time everyone, let’s have some eggnog!

------------

Maybe I'll update the blog over the festive period, or maybe not. But in any case hope you all have a Merry Christmas everyone :-) 

December 2013 - checked out my nerves!

Well today was the 'nerve conduction study' test at the QA Hospital in Portsmouth. The short answer to the results is "there's nothing to worry about" - which is exactly the answer I wanted.

The doctor asked me some questions about my history and how I came to have the numb/tingly leg and foot and then wired me up to the EMG (Electromyography) machine. He then put the 'sensor' in various places in my lower leg and foot and put a small electrical current through me, which was an odd but not unpleasant sensation. Particularly as my toe's involuntarily curled as the current went on and off. The test showed that I don't have a Neuropathy which is excellent, and what I have done is probably pinched a nerve and slightly damaged it. A lovely quote of "I should consider myself normal" made me chuckle, but essentially what this means is I just live my life, if something specific annoys the condition then just avoid it. I am to monitor the situation and if it gets any worse then go back to my GP, it could well get better eventually. The actual outcome is that I still don't know exactly what is causing it, but it is likely to be in my lower back somewhere, but as an MRI scan has been done and shown no damage, then I can stop worrying.

Because this was another 'neuro' department of the hospital (Neurophysiology) the doctor took quite an interest in, and was very knowledgeable about, my Pituitary condition. He seemed impressed at my outcome and knew my Endocrinologist and surgeon, we talked through all the separate symptoms I have had over the years that I didn't put together to more clearly show I had the early signs of the Pituitary tumour. Quite interesting to talk it through like that, and show how useful 20/20 hindsight really is. He was surprised that my failed eye field tests 4 or 5 years ago didn't result in a diagnosis. But as I said in my blog before, I went and did loads of field tests and had extensive examinations of my eyes but nothing was found....I presume because my eyes always were healthy, but the cause was my optic nerve not the eye. 

It reminded me of a list of symptoms I looked through a while ago, and realised I have had most of them. So here they are reproduced from the Pituitary Foundation website, here are a list of symptoms of Hypopituitarism:

	Did I have these symptoms?	Have I got the symptoms now?
Excessive tiredness and decreased energy	Yes	No
Muscle weakness	Yes	Not so much (working on it)
Reduced body hair	Yes	Not so much!
Weight gain	No	No
Increased sensitivity to cold	Yes	No
Constipation	No	No
Dry skin	Yes	Still a bit
Pale appearance	Yes	No (rosy cheeked in fact)
Low blood pressure and dizziness on standing (postural hypotension)	Yes	No
Headaches	No	No
Vision disturbance	Yes	No
Diabetes Insipidus	Yes (after the operation)	No (thank goodness!)

So there you go, it just shows how typical a Pituitary patient I was, I just didn't know it!

December 2013 - a bit of rambling

Verbal rambling that is, not physical rambling! Not much to say this week, which is usually a good sign.

Those of you who use Google Now on your Smartphone will realise that it helpfully pops up every now and then and asks you whether "you care about journey times to a new place". I sometimes say yes to this request, as it is usually somewhere you visit a lot, like a friends house, or a parents house. However, it just goes to show how sad your life is when the place it is asking about is "Queen Alexandra Hospital, Portsmouth". Clearly I have been there so much lately (visiting my Dad mostly) that Google Now has seen fit to help me look at journey times to this favorite place. I appreciate it when technology is being helpful, but I can't quite forgive it on this occasion - but I did say 'yes'.

I have an appointment to go for nerve conductive tests next week, which will hopefully pinpoint where the issue is that is causing my leg and foot to be a tingly and numb. After that I guess I get to find out what is to be done about it, if anything. I'm hoping it falls in the "it's nothing to worry about and it will disappear all by itself in due course" category.

I also decided that as my vision has returned to normal now I haven't got a tumour pressing on my optic nerve, it was about time I got my eyes retested and have picked up a new set of spec's. Very smart they are too. As with all new spec's the world all feels a bit 'super HD' and a bit bubble like, but I'll get used to them. The contrast would be if I still had the tumour, I might have tunnel vision by now.....

So that's it for this week, I'll leave you with this one-liner that I saw recently from the great Billy Connolly

"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger"

December 2013 - hopes and fears

This post has been in draft for a while, whilst I wrestle with exactly what I wanted to say. As the title suggests, I wanted to revisit what my hopes and fears were, and still are, about my Pituitary Tumour and its subsequent removal.

The hopes are easy, I hoped that the tumour would all be removed and that I wouldn't die from the operation and I would both fully recover and feel better than ever I did before. Well 2 out of those 3 were achieved, and if you include 'recovering with the help of medication' then I'd go the full 3 out of 3 for hopes. The fears are a bit more complicated.

Of course there was the fear of dying from the operation and the fear of a general anesthetic which I'd never had before and fear of the tumour not getting removed. Well the anesthetic preparation certainly scared me to death, but of course once it kicks in you don't worry about it...then you come around. As far as I know, and I will be having another MRI scan soon to check, the tumour was completely removed. We'll see.

But the fears only really kick in once the operation is done and all the finer points become more obvious. That I could be on medication for the rest of my life, that other conditions could kick in as a result of the operation. I had a short lived fear I would bleed to death from the operation site, as I did have a big bleed after the operation. But once that passed, I didn't give it too much thought a few weeks after the operation. 

This next bit is what has stopped me publishing this blog post several times, when I read it back it makes me sound a bit bonkers. But on balance, I guess "a bit bonkers" is how DI made me feel....so I'll go with it and publish it and be brave. I'm not even sure the fear is that rational, although is fear ever rational?

My key fear from all of this is/has been Diabetes Insipidus....I was reminded of this recently when a Twitter post came up about it. I know I've mentioned DI a lot since I started this blog, but I think it remains one of my biggest fears right the way through and although right now I haven't got it, I do worry it might come back. I had it briefly during my first stay in hospital, and a quick DDAVP injection and it was gone. Simple so you'd think, but it returned.

After a bit of a battle because the DI was thought to be 'transient' (and I don't think the tests were conclusively showing me with DI), my Endocrinologist prescribed me Desmopressin tablets and again, stopped DI in its tracks. I am so grateful that these tablets got prescribed, as they stopped me and my wife going nuts, and helped us both get some sleep. It was one of those cases where clearly I had symptoms of something, but the experts weren't necessarily agreeing from the tests being done....so my Endocrinologist went with his gut feel rather than what his tests were showing (thanks Dr. Kar :-)  ). In a relatively short amount of time, I started to cut down the dose and then stopped them altogether after about 6 weeks and the incessant drinking and weeing had subsided. But I think it mentally scarred me a bit. I can't describe just how potent the thirst desire can be with DI (if you've had it, you'll know), just HOW MUCH you desire a drink and to just keep drinking. I had the weirdest fantasies about falling into barrel's of orange squash and drinking myself out....don't laugh at this point, I was deadly serious. Never has orange squash tasted so good as it did when DI was at its worst. If I allowed myself to lose control of the drinking urge, I'm not sure how much I could have drunk (and in case you're wondering I'm not even talking about alcohol!!). Also, ice cold drink was best....orange squash with several ice cubes in made the drinking even better, even more euphoric, not sure why. Obviously the weeing was damned inconvenient too, but it really alters your view of drinking from something quite natural you don't give much thought to, to something quite unnatural and arduous.

The thing I remember most was the advice from my Endo team, "go with what your thirst is telling you".....i.e. if you are thirsty drink. Perfect advice, and I still fall back on this advice now. Bear in mind my DI episode happened during one of the hottest spells we've had in ages, so we had 30 degree heat in the daytime, 20 plus degrees at night with me on Desmopressin and thirsty because I was genuinely thirsty. As a reminder, Desmopressin stops your kidneys producing urine, so if you drink too much you'll get water retention....


Even now, although I know I haven't got DI, I still get quite a thirst on at times. I recognise now that I do occasionally have an urge to drink sometimes that isn't a thirst....almost a compulsion. It is rare, but it is there, that is what I mean by mentally scarred. Late in the evening, I can suddenly get really thirsty and I do drink a small amount, I am rarely weeing during the night now so I know that my body isn't getting too much fluid or that I have DI. I also wake up quite thirsty too at times. But my brain gives DI far too much air-time, why can't it just let me get on with drinking and weeing without too much thought? I do control what's going on, but at times I just wish the thoughts would subside. I think time will sort me out in the end, once I can convince myself that DI has gone away for good, that my Pituitary Gland has done it's healing and why would DI come back now? But there it is, by far my biggest fear. And I'd never even heard of DI before I was prepped for the operation....it was one of the "this could happen when we operate" things that Sheila the Registrar talked about when she was getting me to sign my consent form for the operation. 2% the likelihood was I think, she certainly wasn't wrong!

Hopefully when I finally push the 'publish' button on this one, I can blow my DI fears out into the Internet, and out of my head :-)

To finish on a high note, needle phobia. I still have needle phobia, but it is SO much less than it was before all this started. You get accustomed to so many blood tests, that in the end dangling your arm out just doesn't seem such a stress. I did it recently for a Cholesterol test, so easy it's almost laughable how stressed I used to get. I would say a blood test is mainly transactional for me now, whereas it nigh-on made me pass out before. I would like to be able to watch my blood being taken, it is a goal I have. Maybe one day I'll pluck up the courage. I'll never love the needle, but perhaps I have learned to live with it.

November 2013 - another milestone flies by

Here comes's the last update of November as we fly towards December with alarming speed, although according to the TV adverts, it's been almost Christmas throughout November.

Talking of TV Adverts, I loved the original of this advert, and I'm glad they've brought back a Christmas version #DancePonyDance http://youtu.be/_hQjo3DPPi8 

By the way, my Dad is still doing ok, and is still in hospital until he has had an MRI scan. Early next week he's due for review....

So what milestone has flown by then? It was the 6 month anniversary of my Pituitary operation believe it or not - the 28th May was when my tumour was dragged kicking and screaming down through my nose (probably not all in one go!). I wonder where it is now, is it sat in some pickle jar in a laboratory, like those brains you see on the horror movies....I kind of quite like that analogy. If it really was, I'd like to go and see it because quite frankly I'd want to slap it in the face, all the trouble it gave me. I could spend many a long hour chatting to it.....well maybe not. I suppose in reality it is in some clinical landfill site rotting down. I've literally never given it any thought whatsoever until I started typing this update, strange what things come into my head at times.

November 2013 - No news is good news

Me again. I actually missed out a weeks blog, because there really was nothing much to report. Just more of the same. Feeling good, feeling energetic and healthy. I did have some results back about Cholesterol though - I have had 3 tests now. The first was probably about a year ago, and it was a bit high at 7.2, which was a bit of a bummer. Then I cut out some bad foods like butter and eat more fruit and had another test about 6 months ago, Cholesterol went up to 7.4....double-bummer!! So I mentioned this to (someone, can't remember who) who said that perhaps my hormone imbalance and Pituitary Tumour were possibly affecting the results, so to have the test redone once that was all sorted out. So I did, and it came in at 6.4. I am really happy it has gone down, and perhaps it isn't quite as low as I'd like, but at least it is an improvement. Just got to keep eating healthily and keep up the exercise.

I did have another experience with the NHS this weekend though, not for me, but for my Dad. The upshot is, he's fine, he had a fall at home and has a bit of a sore cut up face and some chipped teeth, no bones broken just his pride hurt. He has to stay in Portsmouth QA Hospital for a couple of days just to check he is ok (sudden fall, urine infection and loss of consciousness) but nothing untoward.

But the NHS once again showed how good it can be, when it is at its most stretched....A&E on a busy Saturday afternoon/evening. I arrived at A&E reception about 15:00 and although the waiting room was full up, I was seen by the receptionist straight away and directed through to the "A&E queue". The queue snaked up the corridor towards the 'proper' treatment area.

Now I've read the reports in the news about patients waiting in corridors and how terrible it is, but in reality it didn't feel at all terrible. There was a kind of 'queue triage' going on, my Dad had his observations taken a couple of times whilst in the queue and he (along with all the patients I saw) were taken out of the queue at least once to go through all the important questions in advance of getting to the treatment area. Dad had his wounds cleaned up and assessed. The nurses were really brilliant, and it's those small touches that could easily be missed, that put my Dad at ease....the hand squeezes, the warm smiles and the "there-there's" that made an 81 year old man just that bit better in the moment. You surely can't teach that kind of care, it must come from within.

When he finally got wheeled into the treatment area, we started in earnest with more observations, blood tests and then a visit from a doctor. It really was pandemonium in this part of the ward, full up with patients with such varying needs. Others like Dad who had obviously been in the wars with blood here and there, basically you name it, it was going on....

I did hear one mention from a concerned nurse, whispered to another nurse, about "4 hours", which I believe is some kind of national target for treating A&E patients. I certainly wasn't counting the hours but I reckon my Dad was definitely treated within the 4 hours and whisked through to the A&E observation ward. In all honesty though, for something non-life threatening like my Dad's injuries it surely isn't just about how many hours he spent going through the system, it was about how much dignity and respect he was treated with during his stay in A&E and whether the quality of his care was acceptable. Generally I'd say his care was acceptable (and Dad agrees) although I did have to ask for the nurse to bring him some food and drink about 7pm as Dad is a type 2 diabetic and really needed some food as it was a long time past his normal teatime. 

So by the time I left hospital, getting on for 20:30, Dad had been through the "system" and was comfortable in the observation ward and safe and warm. Couldn't have asked for more.

So there you go, not just an update about me, but about my Dad and the NHS. 

November 2013 - It's all in the mind

This week, some musings on the state of my mind both pre and post Pituitary surgery.

When I first found out I was making no Cortisol and had to go onto Hydrocortisone tablets, one of the questions my GP asked was how was I feeling mentally. Was I finding it difficult to concentrate, was I less assertive at work....well I hadn't given it much thought but he was right enough. I have been concentrating on getting myself back physically to fitness, but the mental side of things is a factor as well.

When I first went onto the Hydrocortisone, my mind went into overdrive in part because I was on a dose that was a bit too high. But what was happening was my mind was suddenly buzzing with thoughts and more positive thoughts. So much so, as he reminded me recently, that my boss even wondered what drugs I was on because I was acting so differently....well the answer was "I'm on steroid's man". It hadn't occurred to me it would make that much difference. But do you know what, it is still making a difference, I just haven't been focussing on it.

Let's take gardening as an example. I'd be a fool to think that just because my hormones are balanced right now, it is going to make me suddenly love gardening. Because it is not. However, Deb and I went outside this afternoon to get some gardening done. It was cold and the type of work we were doing was heavy going, chopping down various shrubs ready for the winter. I have made much of my physical abilities now, much more stamina to keep going....but there is also mental stamina and outlook on life.

Another thing I used to get a lot pre-surgery was cold, very cold. Another symptom of not having Cortisol or Testosterone (not sure which) is feeling the cold more. So this time last year (for example) I would have got freezing cold, been mentally 'down' on the idea of gardening and when I did drag myself outside it was bloody hard work...and I used to moan, A LOT. Now however, the prospect of doing a couple of hours gardening is a challenge. My brain is thinking "let's see how much easier this will be" "let's just get this over with, it will only take a couple of hours". Now obviously from Deb's point of view, this is wonderful. A husband who comes outside to help without moaning and gets loads done. But of course I can't promise this will last, because if it stops becoming a challenge and just becomes the norm, then perhaps the old me will return. Who knows.

Talking of challenges, I had another one yesterday, we went to Discover Dogs in Earl's Court. We have been there a couple of times in recent years as well as Crufts in Birmingham. Such shows where you spend 6 or 7 hours on your feet as well as a journey before and after really knackered me out before. Yesterday was the first test, and I passed with flying colours. I used to have to sit down regularly, drink and eat regularly or else I would 'crash'. None of that yesterday, I even drove home whereas I might sleep in the car most of the way. I must say I was chuffed to bits.

Finally, Twitter served me up some unexpected spam yesterday. I got followed by an account called "Buy Androgel", which is a form of Testosterone. Needless to say that account got blocked straight away, they will have no doubt picked up me mentioning Pituitary or Testosterone in my Twitter feed, but it makes you realise how sophisticated spammers really are. But anyway Mr. Spambot, if you are reading this now, I get it on prescription, so I don't need any of yours thanks.

All in all, another good week :-)

November 2013 - Progress, knowledge and research

So another month shoots by and we're in November, can't hardly believe it.

The last couple of weeks I have been gradually building up my knowledge of all things Pituitary. I'm not sure if I'm normal, but I really want to know exactly what is wrong with my Pituitary, I feel it helps me deal with the issues that arise, and knowledge is power right? But in all reality, my knowledge is only built off of what I have been told by experts, but also off the Internet....so probably some of what I've learned is rubbish! If you are reading this expecting expert opinion then don't listen to me, go and speak to your Endocrinologist team....they really do know best.

But to carry on for a bit, here's what I've learned. There's all sorts of different Pituitary conditions, but the main two I'll focus on are non working Pituitary's and tumours. Some people are born with non-working Pituitary's and some stop working for whatever reason during life. There are also two types of tumour, either 'functioning' or 'non-functioning'. I had the latter. The way I understand it, a tumour itself may produce hormones in addition to the one's that your Pituitary produce (a hormone overdose if you will) - this is a functioning tumour. For instance, I think Growth Hormone is a common extra hormone produced by a functioning tumour, and the current tallest man in the world has/had a Pituitary tumour, and his size was due to way too much Growth Hormone.

In medical speak, these tumours are called Adenomas. Either a micro-adenoma if it is less than 10mm or macro-adenoma if it is more than 10mm, mine was a 'macro' because if I remember correctly it was about 30mm. Gigantic in other words :-)

Anyway....mine was a non-functioning tumour, in that it did nothing in the way of hormone producing, just enveloped my Pituitary and stopped it working properly. Only when the tumour was removed can the Pituitary recover, although recovery is far from guaranteed. In my case I have been left with just two deficient hormones, Cortisol and Testosterone. As I have some hormones intact, and a couple not working properly I have Hypopituitarism** but if the Pituitary wasn't working at all and no hormones were produced, then it would be pan-Hypopituitarism (thank goodness that isn't the case).

** the other thing that occurred to me today, Hypo and Hyper. Hypo as in 'under' or 'deficient'....i.e. I am under producing hormones. Or Hypodermic needle, under (hypo) the skin (derma/dermis). And Hyper as in 'excessive' - Hyperglycemia, too much glucose in the blood

So there you have it, a bit of my extra knowledge duly passed on!

I noted today a 'fire in my belly'. It is a feeling I have only felt a couple of times since being on both the Hydrocortisone and Testosterone (only been on the Testosterone a month or so). We were out walking the dog, and my energy levels were just soaring, I felt a kind of energetic burning inside me that I realise I haven't felt in....well I don't know how long. I just felt I could have run down the track we were walking and just run and run. It felt really good and put a massive smile on my face I can tell you. I've no idea whether to expect this to continue or not, and in any case who knows what the future holds for any of us, but I really do hope to have more days like today.

So you know at least two more things about me, I am a Pituitary bore....and today was a really good day :-)

October 2013 - 5 months ago today

Well, doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself! Today being the 28th October, means that it is exactly 5 months ago today I had my operation to remove my Pituitary Tumour. I wonder how long I will be 'celebrating' my anniversary, I assume for at least one year. The date sticks in my mind for some reason! It really doesn't feel like that long ago, but a lot has happened in the last 5 months, highs and lows, hopes and fears.....but much more positive now.

We went out with friends on Saturday night for a lovely meal on the premise of celebrating my health, which was very nice indeed. Inevitably the "how are you feeling now" question came up, which I neatly side-stepped and got my wife to answer for me. It seemed more appropriate for a different view on my progress. Deb said that I am more positive now and had much more 'get up and go' not just since the operation but also compared to how I was before the operation. I'm glad she has seen that change, because I have felt that I am much more positive, but I don't think you aren't a great judge of your own performance...not in work or life.

Also I've finally been catching up on all sorts of appointments and jobs that have been put off since early June. One of my minor niggles has been my two front teeth, ever since my operation they haven't felt "quite right". Much better now than they were, but they still feel a bit numb. The dentist said it is likely my Palatine Nerve got disturbed during the operation (via my nose) and it will probably take a few more months to settle down. Apparently anesthetist's primary concern is making sure their patient is knocked out and incubated correctly during the operation, and although they don't intentionally knock teeth around, it isn't unheard of. I think I can see the logic there! I've also booked a full eye test, having been given the all clear regarding my visual fields, I think it is time to have a proper eye test to make sure everything else is in order. I've also made an appointment to see the doctor to discuss my tingly/numb foot, as it seems keen to hang around, grrr.

About this time 5 months ago, I was sat in my hospital bed on tenterhooks waiting to go down for the operation, which didn't happen until 3pm. Sitting here now, I can very clearly remember just how nervous I was back then. 

5 months on, all I have to worry about is hurricane force storm "St. Jude". Wow.

October 2013 - What is the Pituitary anyway

So, another week has flown by. It was another week of good health and fitness progress so that's certainly a good point. I was thinking about this blogging lark, having never done it before until this Pituitary thing came along, what do I do if nothing much is happening? Do I just wait until there is something happening and therefore I have something to say, or do I put some effort into thinking about what the content is going to be. Well for the moment the answer is "put some effort in"....I've got this far after all.

Something that has constantly occurred to me is how little people know about the Pituitary gland - and until February 2013 that applied to me too. Since I've was diagnosed, I have put a lot of research into what this little gland is all about and what effects it might have on me. But when people realise I have been ill and you tell them "I've had a tumour on my Pituitary gland" you can see the look in their eyes that says 'well I've heard of the Pituitary gland, but I'm not sure where it is and what it does'. Of course that is fine, it must be the same for all sorts of conditions, you don't need to know how part of your body works and it is only when it stops working you start to get involved. But for charities like the Pituitary Foundation it must be really hard getting your message across about a subject that isn't really known about. Having done some more reading on the subject, there seem to be so many variable outcomes of what you may have wrong with you depending on so many different factors. I managed to get to the ripe old age of 52 before having a Pituitary problem (diagnosed) but a lot of people suffer all their lives with symptoms. Nightmare.

I went around a friends house to watch Star Trek Into the Darkness in his cinema room. Nothing unusual in that you might think, indeed I have been round and seen many movies in that same room. However, this one brought back a few memories. I saw Into the Darkness at the cinema on Tuesday 18th June, this was the same week I went back into hospital for the second time. When I came out of the cinema I started leaking yellow fluid out of my nose, which I was worried was Cerebral Spinal Fluid (CSF).....as it happens it wasn't but it was the start of the infections which put me back in hospital. It was good to see the film again in much better circumstances, and it is such an epic film. I am not a major Trekkie, but I do like a good science fiction film, and this was was very good indeed, excellent special effects.

Last November I took part in 'Movember', which most of you will know by now is the event where men grow a moustache for November. This time last year I was blissfully unaware of my tumour, but it was most likely having a silent effect on my ability to grow a decent 'tache. I had a decent moustache for many years although I shaved it off 10 years ago or more. So I had no reason to believe growing one back wasn't going to be a piece of cake. So I signed up for the Royal Mail Movember challenge and let my facial hair do its thing. Except it didn't do it very well. My lack of hormones meant my facial hair was less than satisfactory....so why not give it another go this year. Well for one thing I'm not sure the moustache will be any better this year, and for another I think it must be someone else's turn to rattle the charity tin. Maybe by next year, my facial hair growing prowess will have returned....after all as I reported last time, my leg hair is growing so why not facial hair!! Unfortunately for me there's no such thing as Legvember though :-)

October 2013 - the hairy legs

So, I mentioned how it all started in this part of my blog. Essentially the reason my pituitary tumour was diagnosed, was because of my vain worry about my once hairy (and at the time, totally bald) legs. Not the tiredness, not the slightly odd vision in my left eye, not the lack of fitness, not my pale complexion....none of that. My hairless legs, pathetic really, but at least I mentioned it to the doctor and she did the right test and I got my diagnosis, so everything turned out right in the end.

Having just been out for another longish walk, 2.5 miles, this means my brain has been mulling over recent events - as I said recently I do seem to do a lot of thinking whilst walking. Don't tell my wife though, she'll have me thinking about more practical things! Having been on the Testosterone gel for nearly a couple of weeks along with the Hydrocortisone, you may be wondering how my hairy legs are faring. Well I have good news! I think it may be the Hydrocortisone that is doing it, but my hairy legs are returning....and hairy arms. It is quite hard to pin down exactly how I feel from one day to the next, but it is quite heart-warming to see some outward sign of my body changing back to what it once was.

I had a look through this site recently www.pituitary.org.uk - there's loads of great info on there and reading through some of the forums, a lot of people far worse off than me. Sobering thoughts.

Finally, social media, in particular Twitter. I have only used it for fun purposes, following humerous people who post hilarious jokes, accounts that post cute, historical and funny pictures...all stuff to lighten the day. But I've followed a few different people lately who are linked with either my condition or the medical profession and the Pituitary Foundation, and you realise just how hard these people work to move care in their areas along. You see the higher profile charities on the telly, but it is easy to forget the small guys and how much great work they do. I think it might be time to give something back....just not sure how yet. Twitter really is a great way to engage with a wide audience at the click of a finger or mouse, it costs you nothing but your time....so it has a serious side as well as a humerous side. Just like we all do :-)

October 2013 - finally a letter from the DVLA

Well, they took their time, but the DVLA have finally written to me with their formal decision about my licence. I was convinced that the ONLY answer they could give me bearing in mind the positive eye tests I have had could be a good one, and indeed it was. They were pleased to inform me that "I may keep my driving licence". Thank goodness for that.

Also had a flu jab today, which was a first. And it seems as it was my first flu jab I also qualified for a once in a lifetime offer of a free Pneumonia jab too, one jab in each arm. The flu jab is a safeguard to try and avoid me getting the flu as my immune system relies on my Hydrocortisone tablets, so the flu is best avoided. However, it kinda makes me feel old, as in my mind only retired people have a flu jab (I know this to be rubbish, but still) - just something else to get used to.

Thinking about having the flu jab, and the slight disadvantage my body has put me in, does make me feel jealous sometimes of 'normal fit and healthy people' (whatever that means). It is a silly way to feel, but sometimes I see someone who in my mind looks a fit and healthy specimen who I believe just from looking at him is producing abundant hormones, and the thought enters my mind "you don't know how lucky you are". Ridiculous way of thinking because in fact I am in good health myself, its just that I need a bit of help from some medication to keep me that way. I won't let the negative thoughts take over, but I thought I'd share my feelings. I suppose it is a natural reaction for anyone really, "why me"......

That's it for now, just a quick update.

October 2013 - I think it might be down to me now

As I've said, I have been doing a lot of walking since my operation, it has been the one thing I felt I could do to get some aerobic fitness back. One thing walking is very good for is thinking, as you're out pounding the streets your mind drifts all over the place, and today on my 2.2 mile walk (according to my phone) my mind led me to how I'm going to get the upper half of my body back in shape. I think I've been lining up the excuses not to put some effort in for at least the last year:

A year ago or so (example)
"Well, I'm over 50 now, so I'm not as fit as I was...probably no point in fighting the age this is how it will be from now on" (although of course my pituitary tumour was probably not helping me, but I didn't know about it at the time)

February 2013
"I've got a low Adreno/Cortisol levels, so my body isn't going to be up to heavy exercise. Probably best to wait until this is all sorted."

May 2013
"I've just had a big operation, it will be a while before I am back up to 100% fitness"

June 2013
"I've had another visit to hospital, it will be a while before I am back up to 100% fitness"

July - September 2013
"I'm feeling a lot better, but my hormones still need some sorting out....so there's no point in pushing my body too soon"

Now it is October 2013, I am probably on Hydrocortisone tablets for life, the maintenance dose will give me the Cortisol I need to carry on 'normal' life. I have also started on Testosterone gel sachets which means that the only other hormone I was deficient in is now back on track. So then, body recovery-check! hormones-check! Is there a hormone for willpower? Only it seems that everything is in place now for me to start getting a bit more exercise done to get back that muscle tone I lost during my June bout of illness. I have no more excuses now, so I'd better start putting some effort in. (but seriously, is there a willpower hormone? It would come in handy!)

So, no more excuses, I need to put some effort in!

Also, I went to a really useful "how to stab yourself in the leg with a sharp needle" [education] session the other day. I hope and pray that the times in my life when I actually need to do this will be VERY few and far between. But nonetheless in an emergency if I have a bad accident or can't keep my hydrocortisone down, I may need to inject myself with an emergency dose of steroids. So the Endocrine nurse specialist Sarah showed me and another patient how to assemble the needle and draw up a dose of steroids and jab the needle into a fake thigh. The thing I didn't let on is that I can barely even stand looking at needles and have taken a wide berth around the few needles that are already in the house. But the time came to "man up" and I think I did an ok job at that?! Having thought about it over the last couple of days, I am of the belief that I would be able to inject myself if I had to, I don't think the medical profession would give me the tools if they didn't think it was reasonably safe to do so - or at least more preferable to give me the tools than risk me not having the injection in time. Picked up a few other useful tips too, so it was time well spent.

September 2013 - first holiday of the year

Well, 2013, didn't quite go to plan. For the last couple of years we have gone away for a few days in March to the Isle of Wight. However this year, I decided our time would be better spent preparing for the redecoration of the lounge/dining room, so indeed we did get loads done in the week and the two rooms duly got redecorated as planned. Not to worry I figured, our June holiday wasn't far away. However, due to reasons of a Pituitary nature my June holiday was hijacked somewhat and I wasn't fit to go on holiday then. So now it is late September and finally I get to go away for a few days.

We fancied somewhere a bit different to the norm, and bearing in mind wherever we go our elderly dog Nemo has to go also, we booked into a dog friendly hotel in Hampton Wick, which is just across the river from Kingston Upon Thames in Surrey. We had a very good time, relaxed, eat a lot, walked a lot and it was just what we needed....our first holiday of 2013. But this also brought with it the first holiday of Hydrocortisone taking and dealing with post Pituitary recovery.

I still haven't been contacted by my local doctors surgery about my Testosterone prescription (so they will be getting a phone call tomorrow) so I'm a bit out on my full compliment of hormones, so I wondered how I would get on walking and being 'out and about' a lot more than normal. Well the answer was 'not to bad at all'. I had a couple of energy level 'crashes' where the remedy was drink some Lucozade energy drink, which seemed to pep me up, but it is like I have a need for sugar that maybe affects me more now than it did before my operation and maybe before my hormones were a bit 'out'. I am not a fan of energy drinks and have never drunk a Red Bull and probably never will, that drink makes me nervous. So on the odd occasion I have felt the need, I quaff about a third of a bottle of Lucozade and it really does the trick for me....a Glucose shot....I don't want to overdo it and turn myself into a diabetic. Mind you, the stuff is addictive, drinking more would be easy!

The real reason for this post though, is remembering that I now rely on something far more important, my Hydrocortisone tablets. Packing to go away involves more than just a few clothes and a toothbrush, I cannot forget to pack my life-blood tablets. So a whole packet of 30 tablets went into my bag, even though it was only 5 days away. What if I get ill and need to double my dose, what if....what if.....Going down to breakfast in the hotel, don't forget to pop a pill, out during the day, pop some pills in my wallet to have at lunchtime. Popping down the pub for a meal out....need a pill (a half pill to be exact). A whole new regime to get used to. As it happens I didn't miss a dose, with the help of my lovely wife to prompt me on occasion. But it makes you think, something you gave no thought to not so long ago, suddenly is at the front of your mind. I dare say that it will become second nature soon enough. I have been taking them since February after all, but never whilst being away. I now have some tucked away in my work laptop bag, some in my wallet....I wonder where else they will find their way into.

I also need to brave another trip to the doctors to chat about my tingly foot and leg. The consultant from Wessex Neuro confirmed that my MRI scan showed no damage to my spine so ruled out Cauda Equina, but admitted that if the symptoms hadn't gone in 4 to 6 weeks, I needed to get checked out. That time period has expired, so I need to go and see the doctor really. I'd had enough of doctors to be honest so have been ignoring the symptoms, but I think the time has come to go and have a chat....and collect my Testosterone prescription too :-)

All in all though, I felt pretty healthy for my first weeks holiday, managed to walk a long way and spend long days laughing and relaxing....something not taken for granted not long ago. In fact I have just gone over my 4 month anniversary since having my Pituitary Tumour removed (28 May 2013). In a way it seems like an age ago, but parts of the memory are still so fresh. Thinking back to my time on D-Neuro ward at Wessex Neuro Southampton, when you're at your most vulnerable and feeling so scared about what is to come, then when the operation has been done, so scared about how recovery will affect me, the knowledgeable - calming - hard working - team-working - downright amazing - nursing staff are there to be your crutch to help you along and point you in the right direction at a time when you need it the most. I wish I could remember all their names, but they are the most memorable part of the experience. 4 months on, I still clearly remember the care I received....24/7. ;-)

September 2013 - Man (and woman) vs. Hedge part 2

So this weekend I wanted to a) finish off the conifer hedge and b) see if last weeks physical prowess was just a one-off. I can happily report that it was not a one-off....

I finished off the side of the hedge yesterday whilst Deb started on the top. We did quite a lot yesterday and left a bit to do for today. We were in a rush to finish off the hedge today because the weather forecast suggested that rain was coming in and we wouldn't have too long, bearing in mind we do like our lie-in's on a Sunday.

I don't think we have breezed through a hedge-cut this easily for years, from my point of view the physical side of shearing through about 4 rubbish bags of conifer hedge was just so much easier than it has been in previous years. It makes me wonder just how much better I am really feeling now, it isn't really something scientific you could measure, it is all very subjective. But my arms just didn't tire like the did before. Someone said to me recently "don't overdo it", but in a way I kind of want to overdo it, I want to see how long my body takes before it is 'overdone'. I know that is a silly thing to say, but it is kind of how I feel.

As I think I have said before, I have taken to early morning walking before I start work, I have come to really quite enjoy my strolling around the area. Although strolling has become more "how fast can I go according to the App on my phone". The App in question is RunKeeper and when I started my early morning walks I was doing about a 19 to 20 minute mile. I hit a 13:57 minute average on Friday and duly got an email from RunKeeper telling me I had set my personal best for walking speed. A previous RunKeeper email had told me I did just over 25 miles during August, I don't think I have ever walked so far. I'm pretty chuffed with myself to be honest, particularly when I read back through this blog and see how poor my health was not so long ago. It makes you want to appreciated feeling good, we don't do it enough and take 'good' for granted.

The other thing is I am finally back driving. I rang the DVLA and their advice was "follow the advice of your doctor". So I emailed Dr. Kar at the QA Hospital who had seen my positive eye field test results and basically said "go for it". So I am now driving my car for the first time in over 3 months, but I still await the official letter from the DVLA once their medical experts have made a judgement. I wish I had rung them a few weeks earlier to receive this advice, I had obviously misunderstood the position and was waiting for their letter, it seems I could have just asked my doctor. Never mind, it is great to be back behind the wheel.

So I am well happy to be feeling fitter and be driving. More positive news to finish off this week, although as I sit here it is raining and looking distinctly like the summer has ended. A shame really, the best summer we've had in ages I've spent quite a lot of it feeling rough....now I'm feeling better it's raining. But you know what, I don't care :-)

September 2013 - Man vs. Hedge

We have an 80 foot long/7 foot high conifer hedge that I'm supposed to cut twice a year in April and August...usually during the bank holiday weekends. But what has this got to do with my pituitary gland?

Well, yesterday was the day I decided to do a bit of conifer hedge trimming, as we didn't have time during the recent bank holiday weekend to do any gardening. In between the showers I managed to get just over half the side of the hedge trimmed in around 2 hours, big deal I hear you utter. What occurred to me yesterday, was how much easier it was cutting the hedge than it was this time last year....I didn't get around to cutting the hedge at all this April.

Of course this time last year, I was blissfully ignorant of what was going on inside my head. I had a pituitary tumour, I probably had one growing for ten years or more, but carried on about my business. But for how long did it affect my every day life without me knowing, how many times was I tired or lacking energy and how many times did I say "oh it's just because I'm getting old". Well I don't know the answer to that for sure, but one activity that was guaranteed to knacker me was cutting the damn hedge. Partly this is due to my insistence that the hedge looks far better trimmed manually with hedge clippers. It does though, using our electric hedge trimmer makes the hedge go all brown on the ends, and takes just as long ultimately.

I distinctly remember how much my arms ached last year whilst trying to cut the hedge, and how many rest breaks I had to take. Yesterday, I breezed through the couple of hours I managed to fit in between the rain showers, my recovery time was much improved. It wasn't dead easy, because I still took a couple of short breaks, but my arms didn't suffer like they did. Now presumably this is all because I now take Hydrocortisone tablets and my tumour has gone, so most of my hormones are now in order. It makes me ponder how many times over the last few years I could have been much more physically up for a task if only I had listened to what my body was telling me. 

So the moral of the 'man vs. hedge' story is simple. Do exactly that, listen to your body, if you think something isn't right then maybe it isn't right. No-one knows your body better than you, you live with it every day and I suppose I am aiming this message more at men than women....don't be afraid to go to the doctors or put it off any longer. I did put it off and I did ignore the signs up to a point....I did go to the opticians several years ago because I had some slightly odd vision which I couldn't put my finger on and I did go to the doctors quite a while back because I had a spell of feeling a bit faint when exercising. I had some basic tests on both occasions but nothing was found because of course they were looking in the wrong place for my ailment....but I could have been more pushy in my quest to find what was wrong.

September 2013 - The Hulk, grrrrr

Well here we are in September already, and I have just had a really positive visit to see Dr. Kar my Endocrinologist. I feel much better having seen him as it seems I am only slightly out with my hormone levels and my full recovery is well within my grasp.

As I have already reported, my Cortisol levels will need permanent boosting with Hydrocortisone, but Dr. Kar said there are no long term health risks with taking Steroids as they are replacing something I'm missing. The only risk is if my body suddenly starts making its own Cortisol again which would put me in a higher dose situation. It could happen apparently. The only other hormone that needs sorting out is Testosterone....which I had guessed already.

Testosterone should give me back a bit of 'get up and go' which I would certainly welcome, but it also serves an important function as I get older which is to protect my bones (Osteoporosis). So bring on the Testosterone, I'm going to try a gel to start with to see how I get on, if I turn green and all my clothes rip off (Incredible Hulk-esque) then clearly I'm using too much gel!!

Other than that, I need to have an MRI scan towards the end of the year to check everything is ok in Pituitary land, and my next scheduled appointment now isn't until January. So I can stop worrying about stuff and get on with healing and getting better. Can't wait!

August 2013 - quick update

So here we are at the end of another month, it has been 3 months since my operation now (28th May) and in some ways it seems a very long time ago....a lot of things have happened.

I get asked a lot now how I am feeling, I think the best answer is "about as good as I did before the operation". What I mean by that is I can go out and walk for 2 miles without needing a respirator or a sleep, my fitness is gradually getting better and most of my supplementary symptoms have passed. I still couldn't run down the road, but I could walk quite fast :-)

I still have the tingly/numb sensation in my foot, which although annoying I am used to now and I hope it will pass without any further visits to the doctors. We'll see....

Also you may remember Diabetes Insipidus (DI) from an earlier post, and me taking Desmopressin to alleviate the symptoms. Well, for some time I have been taking a lower dose than recommended and this has been working fine. I decided last weekend to stop taking the tablets altogether to see what happened, expecting the excessive night-time drinking and wee-ing to resume, but it didn't. And as of last night, it still hasn't. Now the Endocrine consultant Dr. Kar said that I had "transient" DI which I guess by the literal definition of the word means it can come and go, and right now it seems to have gone. Which is brilliant because I was not keen on taking those tablets, but we'll have to wait and see. It kind of makes up for having to take the Hydrocortisone tablets forever I suppose.

I have another appointment with Dr. Kar next week to discuss the way forward, he seems pretty positive, but I am hoping he can sort out my Testosterone levels, as I need my fitness and muscle levels to increase, and I think this will help. He said all my other hormone levels are "stable", hopefully I'll find out whether that is stable=good or stable=inadequate next week.

I return to work full time next week too, so most parts of my life are returning to normal, and after 3 months it is not a moment too soon. This doesn't include being able to drive yet, which is really getting on my wick....hurry up the DVLA!!

August 2013 - the results are in, already

I'm not sure what happened to "the results will be in during the next couple of weeks, and we'll invite you back in to see the consultant", in fact I had a phone call late yesterday afternoon with the results of my 'Short Synacthen Test'.

I could tell from the tone of Jean, the Nurse Specialist, who called me that it was not good news. I was told that they look for a score of 500 in terms of the amount of Cortisol that is produced in the test - I'm not sure what measurement '500' is. My score was 73, i.e. not good enough by a mile.

What this means is that I will need to take Hydrocortisone steroid tablets forever to replace what my body cannot produce. It also means I will need to carry a blue steroid card in my wallet (to inform emergency services staff I'm on steroids) and also learn how to inject myself with emergency Hydrocortisone in case I need to. In the normal course of events I just take the tablets and everything is hunky dory, if I get ill, then I double my tablet dose. If however I get really ill and I am being sick and cannot keep my tablets down (as happened a few weeks ago) I need to get an injection into me to make sure I get my Hydrocortisone dose.

I have been invited to an 'education day' at the QA Hospital where they talk me through what all this means in practice, and show me how to do the injection.

It is very disappointing to learn that my body is permanently defective in this way, particularly having been through all that I have been through, but as I said in my last blog post, I was kind of thinking the worse, so my fears have been confirmed. My theory was that if my body could have produced the burst of Cortisol that I needed, I wouldn't have got so ill so quickly those few weeks ago....so logic suggested that something may be amiss.

The next step is to understand whether my Pituitary gland is able to produce any messages at all, and whether my other hormones are screwed up as well. Looks like I'd better get used to a regime of tablet taking - but all things considered, it could be a lot worse if all I have to do is take tablets.

73 out of 500, I never was very good at tests :-(

August 2013 - the 'Test'

So finally the big day arrived, the 'Short Synacthen Test'. This meant that despite the high importance placed on me taking Hydorcortisone tablets regularly, I needed to stop taking the tablets 24 hours before the test. A whole 24 hours without my lifeblood steroid tablets, but how did I feel first thing this morning? Well, I had a stonking headache and felt a bit lacklustre but otherwise no ill effects. But I was very nervous about the test, principally about having a Cannula jammed into my arm.

So at 10:30 sharp we turned up and was seen by the Endocrine nurse specialist, who weighs me and takes my blood pressure and I give a urine sample, all fairly straightforward so far. She then explains what happens during the test, Cannula, blood sample, Synacthen injection in the bum cheek, blood sample 30 mins later then another blood sample 30 mins later, Cannula out....go home.

So in the event, the nurse whacks the Cannula (or "Venflon" as she referred to it) into the vein without drama, and there I am with this contraption dangling from my arm, a long tube to which she attaches a syringe to draw the blood from, loads of it - in between blood samples she injects saline solution into the tube, and my arm, to flush the tube out of blood to stop it blocking up, lovely. Then the injection in the bum and then a 5 minute lay down to make sure I don't suffer any ill effects from the synthetic drug, designed to simulate the message from my Pituitary to my Adrenal glands to produce loads of Cortisol. 5 minutes later, no ill effects and we're sent off to the waiting room with a lovely cup of coffee (and tea for Deb).

30 minutes later, I get called back for the second blood sample, then again 30 minutes later. Before I know it the Cannula is out and we are on our way.

The results should be with us in 1 to 2 weeks, the nurse discusses the results with Dr. Kar the consultant then he will likely call me in for an appointment to discuss, who knows what the results will be. The nurse said it is not unknown for them to repeat the Synacthen test several months later, if the first test shows I'm producing no Cortisol, then it isn't impossible that it could take some time for my Pituitary to come back online. But I'll have to wait and see.

The nurse took loads of blood and has asked for all sorts of tests to be carried out, so I should also get a snapshot picture of where all my other hormones are at too.

So, was it worth getting all nervous about? No, not really, it was all over almost before it begun....I didn't feel any ill effects and my arm didn't fall off having had the Cannula in it. The key piece of information, is the bit I won't know for a while and I'd love the result to be positive. But for the time being, I am leaning towards a negative result, then I can only be pleasantly surprised if it is good news. Roll on the results!

August 2013 - great news on the back front!

I cannot tell you what a relief this is, but Southampton Neuro unit have just phoned up with the results of my MRI Scan. I have a completely healthy back, in fact very healthy for a man of my age! This means I DON'T have Cauda Equina Syndrome nor any slipped discs, I just have some slightly annoyed nerves which will probably cure themselves of their own accord.

I am one happy bunny I can tell you (jumps up and down whooping), good news for a change!

August 2013 - things calming down

It has been 9 days since my last update, and that can only mean one thing....I've got less to say! I am definitely feeling 'on the mend' now, Deb and I went out for a brisk 2 mile walk today in the warm sun and I didn't feel the need for an hours nap afterwards, that is not to say that unscheduled naps don't occur because they do, but my stamina is gradually returning. I'm getting a good nights sleep most nights (our dog isn't very well right now, so there are some unscheduled interruptions) and my weight has evened out at just over 10 stone....still three quarters of a stone lighter than I was a couple of months ago.

My penchant for fresh fruit is continuing, had a satsuma today, some more melon at the end of last week, and there are some nectarines ripening in the fruit bowl....I didn't even know where the fruit bowl was that long ago. Very weird....

My bad back/numb foot continues, it hasn't got any worse although maybe slightly better, but I am still awaiting an appointment to follow up the MRI scan. From a conversation I had with the consultants secretary, it may be some weeks before this appointment comes through. Annoying, but I am learning to live with the odd feeling foot, but sitting down for any length of time is still uncomfortable (numb and at the same time painful Coccyx) and can lead to me fidgeting around. Which isn't very handy when you are trying to type on a laptop keyboard and standing up!

Also this last week I have returned to work, albeit on a part time basis. I'll be part time for the next 3 weeks to ease me back in gently. It was quite hard last week getting my brain in gear, and took some thinking sometimes to remember where I was with a particular project. I know things will start to come flooding back to me as I get back into the swing of things - I must make an effort to get into the office in Pompey some time soon, if for no other reason than to pay my lottery money!

I really need my driving licence back now, it is getting very inconvenient. My Endocrinologist sent me for an eyesight 'visual field test' which showed that my fields had returned to normal. Before the operation, there were noticeable areas at the edge of my visual field that were obscured, more than I realised. But now the tumour has been removed and the optic nerve is un-pinched, the vision has returned. I had an appointment come through from the DVLA to attend a local optician to do another field test, which according to the optician I passed with flying colours, seeing 117 out of a possible 120 pinpoints of light. He said my test results, along with a few other tests he did, would not be a problem with the DVLA. So I am hoping that once the DVLA have assessed the feedback from both of the above tests, they will conclude that I am safe to drive once again.....as safe as I ever was anyway!!

I still have my big Synacthen test to come on the 20th August, which is now only just over a week away, still not looking forward to it, but really wanting the results and then being able to move on to balancing all my other hormones. Not long to wait now hopefully.

So it seems things are slowly returning to normal, just need my back to resolve itself, the DVLA to give me my licence back, and my hormones balanced. Simples :-)